I have realized that if there is a great leveler in this world, it is being the parent of your teen.
Speaking to over hundreds of parents of my young coachees, from across the world, I arrived at this happy realization that every parent goes through the same angst, the same pain. Suddenly, you find a uncommunicative, grumpy, rebellious stranger walking in through the door. Who answers in grunts, growls or slamming doors. Who refuses to accept your advice.
And if you are the mother or father of the teen, then you will identify with the following feelings you go through:
- Confused and uncertain—about your skills as a parent and the future of your kid
- Overwhelmed—you don’t know where to begin or you feel like giving up
- Angry—at the other parent, your friends, or your own child
- Lonely—as though you are the only person dealing with so many problems
- Depressed—because you start to question and double-guess all that you have done and all that you are
- Guilty – because sometimes you just cannot find love for your child
These feelings do not mean you are a bad parent! We all have had times when our buttons have been pushed to such an extent that we throw our tea cups or phones on to the floor (or at our child!!) and then feel so ashamed that we should have known better. I, for one, have been guilty of these and much more…and which is why I was so thrilled to know that parents across the world feel the same:)
Which means the problem is not you. The problem is not even your teen. She is just as frustrated, unable to understand all the changes happening within and without.
So how can you help? By becoming aware that this is a phase. Really. The loving, funny baby who hugged you and said, “ I love you three” will come back to you when he is around 20 years old (well maybe he may not be that cute, but definitely you will find him!). And though it seems like a long wait, I assure you, it’s just a small window of time….Until then, find a good coach for your teen, hold on to your sanity and patience, and breathe!!
If you need help with your teen, visit lumiere24.com to check on the programmes that we have specifically for young adults. Also check out our signature program, It’s MY Life, a group coaching program for teens.